Oh, Billy Bob, come here, my son.
For I have seen what you have done.
While I was talking with Miss Ness
You turned our home into a mess.
You shaved the cat, released the dog,
Uncaged the bird, brought in a frog.
You made a fort out of my books
And scattered toys in ev'ry nook.
And all the dishes in the sink
You broken each of them, I think.
And all your Sister's dolls you harmed
For there's a head and there's an arm.
When I approached, you ran and hid.
You know I don't like what you did.
For ev'ry crime you must confess.
To pay the debt you'll wear a dress.
One day for each thing that you did,
One day for each thing I've forbid.
And since you performed all of them,
You'll wear green frocks with lacy hems.
But Mom, I didn't do all that:
Let loose the dog or shave the cat.
I didn't make your books a mouse
For Squeaky, my kid Sister's mouse,
Who living now inside the cat.
She ate him up. Imagine that!
The bird's inside the cat as well.
How it got loose, I cannot tell.
That's not a frog, but it's a toad
That Sarah Jane found upon the road.
I never touched a single cup.
It's Sarah Jane who broke them up.
I did not do the things so bad.
But it's Sarah Jane, my Sis, who had.
You cannot blame sweet Sarah Jane.
The reason must be very plain:
While I was with Miss Ness, you see,
Sarah Jane served us both some tea.
She was with me when this occurred.
I know you've lied with ev'ry word.
For lying, that's another day
And ev'ry debt you will repay.
For blaming Sarah for this mess
A month more you will wear a dress.
Until for all this you have paid
You will be Sarah Jane's own maid.
And since you performed all of them,
You'll wear green frocks with lacy hems.
Maybe those things I will confess,
But I will never wear a dress.
I can't wear dresses, don't you see?
The boys will all make fun of me.
I will not be my Sister's maid,
Not even if I should get paid.
Having a Sis is bad enough,
To wear a dress would make life rough.
To cater to her ev'ry whim.
I'm not a Girl, I am a him.
So spank me if you think you should
Or ground me. That might do some good.
I won't wear frocks with lacey hems;
I won't go anywhere near to them.
A spanking you will soon forget
And grounding you has not worked yet.
I'll burn your trousers if I must.
You'll watch while I turn them to dust.
I'll sell your shirts to other boys.
Sarah and I will smash your toys.
For you will learn how to behave
And that means being Sarah's slave.
For Sarah's kind and meek and mild
And unlike you she's never wild.
And if the boys make fun of you,
Well, maybe that's the thing to do.
Since you fear loud laughs from them,
You'll wear green frocks with lacy hems.
Oh Mommy, please, I will be good.
I'll do the things you think I should.
I'll feed the pets and buy a mouse.
I'll dust our books and clean the house.
I'll wash the dishes ev'ry day
And only in my room I'll play.
I'll mend all of my Sister's dolls.
Whate'er you ask, I'll do it all.
But please don't make me wear a dress
Let me be boyish, more or less.
Don't make me be my Sister's slave.
Please, not a maid, I will behave.
The household chores I'll do all them
But not in frocks with lacey hems.
Boys like you I humiliate.
All boys are bad, but Girls are great.
By now, Sarah Jane has hidden your stuff:
Your pants and shirts, but that's enough
To start my sissifying plan:
You'll be more Girl and less a man.
You'll do ev'rything that we might say
You'll do the chores on ev'ry day.
You'll be your Sister's servile maid
Without a chance that you'll be paid.
So you won't do them in the nude
(For naked boys I think are crude),
You'll wear them when you work and play.
I bought these dresses yesterday.
I knew you'd do things very bad.
The living room's proof that you had.
I'm sure they'll fit you perfectly,
Just like your pants and shirts. You'll see
And you will wear each one of them:
Frilly green frocks with lacey hems.
Take off your clothes, put on this dress
So you can start to clean this mess.
Now, you can change clothes by yourself
Or Sarah Jane will gladly help.
I'll hold you while she tears them off
She shred to rags all of your stuff.
Then you'll wear dresses for a year
And all the boys will know you're queer
We'll make sure that they know all this,
That you're less boy and more a Miss.
They make fun of you more that way.
They'll harm you more than I can say.
You'll get beaten by all of them
For wearing frocks with lacy hems.
If now I change into a dress
To do the chores, clean up this mess,
To be a maid to Sarah Jane,
To do all that and not complain,
How can you keep it from my friends
Until my servitude will end?
How long must my secret be hid
The time to pay for what I did?
Can you keep it from all of them
That I wear frocks with lacy hems?
You'll stay in dresses as a slave
Until you learn how to behave.
Show me that as a boy you'll be
Gentle and kind. Act properly
And soon you'll wear your pants again
If from boyishness you refrain.
You have three bosses now, you see:
Dad, Sister Sarah Jane, and me.
Please all of us and we won't tell
And make your life a living hell.
We'll keep the fact from all the boys
That wearing dresses you enjoy
We'll keep ignorant all of them
That you wear frocks with lacy hems.
Is this obedience I see?
Here is a pair of lace panties
Here are some shoes with four-inch heels
They'll make you more Girly to feel.
Here are cosmetics you should wear
And cute pink barrettes for your hair,
And dangling earrings for your ears
You will get used to them; don't fear.
And a small apron made of lace
To help you stay within your place.
And now, my son, you are complete:
No more a boy but Girl so sweet.
Oh Sarah Jane, my dear,
Please come inside and see what's here.
Your brother wants to be your slave
So he might learn how to behave.
He'll wear these dresses. All of them
Are cute green frocks with lacy hems.
Oh Mom, how cute is Billy Bob.
I must say you did one fine job.
But, I don't think the work's complete.
My brother's not totally sweet.
Here are petticoats just for you
To wear them with your dresses too
But Billy Bob's no name for him
The name's too fat for one so trim.
Since the work's not complete as yet,
I think I'll name my maid "Babbette."
Just wait till Dad sees what we've done
I'm sure he'll want to join the fun
Of having Babbette as our maid
A servant who need not be paid.
I'm sure he'll think this is a gem:
A boy in frocks with lacy hems.
Oh Sis, I beg you on my knees
Not to let the boys know, please, please.
I'll work for you within the house.
I'll be your maid, I'll be your mouse.
I'll be your slave, I'll be your frog
I'll be your cat, even your dog.
Don't make me wear these frocks outside
They'll see me with no place to hide.
But please, keep this secret from them
That I wear frocks with lacey hems.
I'll keep your secret from the boys
If you will play with dolls as toys.
If you won't play with trucks or trains,
Not with your blocks, not with your planes.
(Not that you'll have much time for that,
Not if you're to be my pet cat
As well as my Sis and my maid.)
Now I know where your pants are laid.
I'll loan you some to wear to school
Unless you disobey my rule.
Then all will see you as my Sis
All boys will know that you're a Miss.But, that does not include the Girls
My friends will love to see you swirl
In skirts and make-up and pettis
For now they are coming for tea.
You better fix for us some sweets,
I think, some ice cream for a treat.
They all have brothers too, those twerps
My friends want them also in skirts.
So, while you're serving us some tea,
I'll tell my friends with Girlish glee
How to get brothers, all of them,
Into green frocks with lacy hems.