In my bedroom,  she started helping me open the packages.  “I got all of these in the same size as your dress you have on now.  We may have to alter some of them a little, but it won’t be much, and besides you need to learn how to do that too!  You can’t be wearing the same dress day after day, you know.  A lady just doesn’t do that!  And once we get things situated, those will be placed on the floor in your closet so they don’t stretch out,“ as she pointed to a row of beautiful crisp new petticoats she had unwrapped and put on my bed.  “Why don’t you take them out now and put them over in the corner there…” 

I looked at all the dresses and skirts, shoes, and underthings that came out of the packages and got placed on my bed.  One dress was especially pretty, like a party dress with shiny fabric and puffy sleeves.  “I didn’t get you a dress for Easter, honey…I hope this makes up for that”  As I looked at all those gorgeous clothes I instantly became envious…but then I realized they were mine!  “OK…all unpacked and put away.  Now let’s go have something for lunch, OK?” 

After lunch, I tried on all my new clothes with her and hung each back up carefully in my closet, shoving my old clothes to the side behind the wall, trying to get them out of sight!   After I had modeled everything for her, she smiled at me and said, “Honey…why don’t we move all your old clothes out of this closet and put them in the spare room for now?  I don’t want you tempted into thinking it’s OK to wear pants when I’m not looking.  And if I ever catch you doing something like that…well, you just better get them out of here OK?  I don’t want to have to tell your father that his daughter is a little boy!”  And she smiled.     

As we finished, Mother commented, “You really surprised me earlier, young lady.”   I asked her why and she replied, “Well, when you came out to help me carry everything into the house!  I didn’t think you would want to be outside yet,  but I’m proud of you.”   And suddenly my mind snapped back and realized that when I had gone to the garage…the garage door was wide open!   I must have turned white because she smiled and looked at me.  “Oh…you didn’t think about it, did you?  Oh, dear!  It’s OK, sweetheart…you look just wonderful, and see?  Nothing happened, now did it?”   She patted my shoulders and tilted my head up to look at her.  “OK?”   Finally I recovered, but for hours afterward vowed I would never be that careless again!  I was obviously getting very poor at being cautious!

Each morning, as the ‘test’ continued,  it was just what I imagined it could be!   Mom and I worked together doing what she referred to as ‘woman’s work’.  Over time, I began to take on more of it by myself and she was overjoyed by it all!   I enjoyed doing housework while having to navigate around, my skirt sticking out so much with my petticoats; I never saw my feet very much.  I’m kind of embarrassed admitting this, but every chance I got, I twirled or ‘accidentally’ caught my skirt, revealing my white crisp petticoats!   It was…more wonderful than I ever  imagined!  The only thing I didn’t care for was the wig.  It was…well, just awful somehow.   I mean, I looked OK with it on.  Surely better than with my crew-cut…but it felt strange and was hot, and it wasn’t…well, real! 

From the very beginning it was odd having Daddy call me ‘Cathy’ or ‘young lady’, and even more strange when he would occasionally give me a hug or hold a chair for me when we sat down for dinner.  I liked his attention, and began to think…well, maybe it was OK!  From the beginning of all the test, he only saw me as a girl since, during school, he was gone when I got up to get ready for school, and I was already dressed as a girl when he got home at night.  I guess that’s why he never seemed to slip up and call me David?  As summer started, I actually got used to being ‘Cathy’ when Mother or Daddy would call me.  I wished it would have always been like that, I guess. 

Mother, just as the doctor had promised, was all business and kept after me all the time for my manners and chores, and reminded me at any slip up that I was a young lady and should act so.   Even going to the bathroom was preceded by a reminder to sit!   I never forgot that anyway, but her constant reminders did have an affect on me, I think.  A couple of times, Mother even insisted I accompany her to the mailbox, or just for a walk around the block.  Then, toward the end of the second week, she took me shopping with her…and somehow I managed to not be as afraid as I thought I might be.   Life as a girl was be so full of ‘lessons’ and hard work!  But I did love it all, even with the regimen I was under.  It was…well it was like having to work extra hard to learn what I thought life should have been like, but that was fine with me! 

*    *    *    *

Friday morning of the third week of the summer, the doorbell rang!  I sort of jumped, but Mom reminded me the doctor would be stopping by and asked me to please answer the door.  I was still a little nervous, of course, but walked quietly to the door and looked through a side window to make sure it was the doctor.  When I finally opened it, She stood there and just looked at me for a moment.  “Hello…”   Mother had approached from behind me, and before I realized she was there spoke.  “Well Cathy…aren’t you going to invite our guest in?” 

She turned to Mother and said it was time discuss results for the test period.  At Mother’s suggestion, we all went into the kitchen.  Mother asked me to serve Doctor Samuelson coffee before we got down to our discussion session and they sat down to chat.  I took great care to make sure I followed all of Mom’s training to serve them both before I sat.  “She is absolutely wonderful, I must say!”  The doctor said.   

After a few minutes of lighter conversation, She began a more serious topic.  “It’s been almost a full three weeks full time now young lady, and several weeks of part time exposure before that…and what do you think about all of this?  Is it anything like you imagined?  Or are you disappointed now that you’ve had some experience in housework, cleaning, and so forth?” 

I had been hardly disappointed.  If anything, I got even more excited about getting up in the morning and tackling a new project like cleaning the drapes or vacuuming or…well, anything, even starting to learn to sew with Mom to fit some of my new dresses!!  I told her I was very happy to have had the chance and…was a little sad it would be over soon.  “Oh, I am looking forward to being with Daddy when we go on our camping trip this weekend and all…but…”   

She looked at Mom and back at me and just sat quietly for a time, sipping her coffee.  I remember excusing myself, getting up and bringing the coffee to refill her and Mother’s cup as….well as the proper thing to do as a hostess.”  As I was pouring each of them more coffee, Mother broke the deafening silence.  

“Doctor Samuelson, I don’t think Cathy wants to come out and say anything because she thinks it would hurt her father’s or my feelings…or that we might think less of her somehow,  so I’ll say it instead. What I’ve seen during the entire time was quite amazing to me!  She…well, she is different!  I mean…She’s been so very happy!  And believe me, I haven’t been easy on her!”  She looked directly at me and quietly smiled.  “I pushed her to the point I was afraid she might cry…I was trying hard to make her see it isn’t all just the pretty clothes and feminine things she seems to enjoy so much!  I wanted her to understand the responsibilities she could be faced with as a woman!   I’ve told her more than once she would never be free to stay out as long as she might as a boy, or go places by herself…She accepted every comment and critique and listened and worked hard to learn!  Through all of that, she has been so happy.   She…well, she’s shown me how nice it is to have a daughter to do things with and…well…I feel like she really is my daughter!” 

Dr. S. looked at me and studied my face a bit then asked me straight out.  “Now forgive me for using your other name but…David…if I were to tell you that you might never be a boy again, what would you say?“  

I glanced at Mother, and then looked at the doctor.  I thought a few moments very hard about what she just said…and finally answered…I would be very happy.  I went on to explain that I did feel…like I was who I was supposed to be!  I looked down at my skirt and quietly admitted I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, but I felt…normal!  I explained how nice it was even getting to try to be a girl when I wasn’t in school, of course, but during the three weeks of summer break when I never had to go back to being a boy…well it was wonderful! 

“And when you and your father go camping…will you be sad about that?”  I told her no, not at all!  “I’ve been looking forward to being out with Daddy for a long time.  I wouldn’t want to give that up.  Do I have to?” 

She laughed and smiled.  “No, young lady…you don’t have to give that up this time.  In fact, I think, given what’s happening, it’s more important than ever you DO go now!” 

Mother asked to go up to my room and start getting ready to return to…being a boy again.  “I think for now, why don’t you just leave all your clothes where they are?  You can go to the spare room closet for your old clothes now…it will be OK.  And just hang your dress in the closet with your other dresses and remember…put things away properly, young lady…OK?”  

I stood up, asked to be excused and slowly turned and walked up to my room.  I was actually torn between the excitement of getting to go on a weekend campout with my friends and Dad and the sadness of realizing I wouldn’t be wearing those clothes any more.  It had been wonderful, and I remember how lucky I felt I had been to have been able to try it.  But at that moment I just regretted the idea of no longer being…a girl.